A litte bit late, but for the best

by - July 20, 2021

This is an entry that I'm writing in the middle of the night, alone in my room. I havent written something like this in a while, not in this blog, not even in my diaries/journals (I have several cute books but ended up not writing much. this is something im still working on 😅) 

Anyway, after my first semester at HUFS ended, I had some time to think (a lot of time actually). I was feeling a bit melancholic, probably because I was all alone and had some free time on my hand without ongoing lectures. I was going through my notebooks, when I found something I wrote in my diary, that I had forgotten about. A lot of things that I wished for back then is now a reality. Reading my own diary had me reflecting my whole life, of how lucky and blessed I am. When I think about it, a lot of things in my life happened late. At least later than the people in my circle.

When most of my friends finished school at 17, I finished school at 19 (STPM).

When most of my friends got their drivers license at 18, I got mine at 20.

When most of my friends finished studying and started working at 24 or 25, I finished studying at 29.

When most of my friends have traveled far, I only had the chance to travel overseas at 26.

A lot of things in my life happened a bit late, but I have always believed that everything, every single thing, happens for a reason. There must be a reason why my timeline is different than  most people in my circle. When those things were happening for them, I would also pray for my time to come soon. I would look up to them for inspiration, and learn from their experience so that I could be more prepared when my time comes. At this moment, a lot of other things have happened in their lives, and Im still waiting for mine.

Most of my friends are married now, they found the one that they will spend the rest of their lives with.

Most of my friends had their first baby recently, they are now mothers living their motherhood.

Most of my friends are already living in their own house, while I'm still living in a dorm.

If I keep looking at what other people have and what I dont, I will never be grateful. I may not have what they have yet, but I believe that its for the best. Instead of looking at what I dont have yet, I should be looking at what I already have and understand why it happened the way it happened.

Because I finished school at 19, I had the chance to make more friends and learn more invaluable life lessons.

Because I got my drivers license at 20, I had the chance to drive my family everywhere when they need me.

Because I finished studying at 29, I got to make my parents proud.

Because I didnt travel much, I got to spend more time reading about places.

Right now, surely, I am still waiting for my turn to get married, to become a mother, to decorate my own house (and many, many other things on my list). The time will come one day, inshaallah. When Allah says its time, it will happen. Those things have not happened yet, but I can already see the reasons why its being delayed for me now.

Right now, I get to enjoy spending time with myself, discovering and relearning me. I get to focus on my parents, repaying them for all they have done for me. I get to save money for that dream house (on a brighter side, the dorm where Im staying right now is free!) I get to focus on my career, I get to enjoy my freedom, and an abundance of other things that I should be thankful for.

"Perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not". - 2:216

Our timelines are different. There are some things that we may experience later than other people, and there are things that we may experience sooner than others. But I guess the timeline doesnt really matter. What matters is that we put enough effort in life and have redha at the same time. Worry about tomorrow, but not too much. Dream about the future, but also be prepared for surprises. Pray for everything that we want, but also believe in what He plans.

The next time I have doubts, I shall come back to this post and remind myself that sometimes things may be a bit late, but they are for the best 💛

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